


Ultio Ultionis

by Maribor_Petrichor



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 12:49:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/585603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maribor_Petrichor/pseuds/Maribor_Petrichor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I positioned myself on all fours, grovelling, as I undid his buckle. When I felt him place his other sandaled foot on my back, pressing into my spine and lungs I moaned through tightly pressed lips. I drew pleasure from the discomfort and pain, elated Rory had been willing to commit."</i>
</p><p>The Doctors guilt is crushing, it never abates, it never rests. His only respite is the relief of punishment. Dark Doctor fic. Rory and the Doctor engage in some roleplaying and BDSM.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. De Profundis

_**"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of the Doctor, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a god."** _

_**-This god wishes to be humbled.-** _

 

As per our agreement, as soon as we entered the bedroom our identities disappeared. The Doctor and Rory ceased to exist.

The TARDIS had provided us with a fairly non descript room, dark, slightly chilly, with a plain bed in the corner. The walls were lined with various instruments she thought we might need, a virtual array of bondage equipment. Standing in the middle of the room I gazed at the walls, realizing how many of these things I had forgotten I even owned.

Rory had turned his back to me, his stance wide, his hands clasped behind him. He was clad in full Roman regalia as I had requested. He looked majestic, even from behind, tall and strong and I thought about the imposing figure he must have been those two thousand years ago.

The minutes dragged on and still he hadn't moved. The silence was beginning to grow deafening and I found myself becoming increasingly uncomfortable. That was of course his point. He was in charge and he could make me wait as long as he saw fit.

"My name is Caius Crispus Decimus. You are my recently acquired property. Is this clear to you?" Rory asked, still not having turned around.

"Yes..." I was unsure as to how to address him and finally settled upon, "Master."

I heard Rory snigger and assumed I had spoken correctly.

"Are you on your feet in my presence, slave?"

"Sorry...I mean my most humble apologies, Master." My hearts started to thump with excitement as I sank to my knees, keeping my head lowered out of respect.

Finally Rory turned around, though from my vantage point all I could see were the sandals he wore.

"You stand accused of insubordination, sedition and disrespect to the Holy Emperor of Rome all of which are treasonous offenses." His voice was quiet, tempered, dangerous. "Do you deny any or all of these accusations?"

"I do not." I said meekly while wanting very badly to scratch my elbow. The tunic he had chosen for me to wear which didn't even reach my knees was stiff and scratchy. I knew this discomfort was part of the game and still it was distracting.

"What is your position, slave? Or should I say what _was_ your position. I make no garuntees as to what role you will serve in my house."

"Family physician." I answered with a sudden burst of inspiration.

"Physician? A learned slave, what an impressive waste." Rory spat. He had begun to circle, taking slow, leisurely steps around me. "You know why you're here?"

We hadn't made this part of the game clear, in fact most of it was improvised save for one or two things I had pre-requested and a few elements he himself had suggested. I decided to let silence be my answer.

"I used my influence and I saved you from crucifixion on the plank. You now belong to me. Your life, your mind, your body. Were it not for me, your ilk would be throwing lye on your corpse as we speak. Do you wish to thank me for my mercy, slave?"

"Yes, Master. Thank you, Master. I am forever in your debt."

"Wrong. You are not in my debt, you are in my service, in time I will teach you the difference." Rory extended his hand before my face, palm down, waiting. Taking it gently in mine I placed two soft lips upon his knuckles daring to plant a slightly lingering kisses there.

"Good, that's very, very good."

Suddenly he bent down and grabbed hold of my face, tilting it upwards to look at him.

"You know, you're very pretty." he said.

At that moment I regretted that we were trapped in our respective roles, I wanted so badly to just propel my body onto his. "Thank you, Master."

Perhaps a small smile crept to my lips because suddenly Rory frowned.

"I don't tolerate vanity, I hope you understand that." he said before letting my face go and rising to his full height. "I heard you've been the source of a good deal of disciplinary problems. Would you like to see how I rule my house?"

"Yes, please, Master."

"Then stand and assist me." Rory said and I rose to my feet. "Undress me."

Rory motioned behind him and I stood at his back, gazing longingly at the column of his neck.

I started to unfasten his cloak but I had difficulty making my fingers work as they were supposed to. His scent filled my nose, intoxicatingly masculine and heavy with arousal.

Gods I wanted him.

My fingers struggled with the stubborn knot and while I murmured an apology it did nothing to stay Rory's wrath.

"400 men stand ever at the ready to live and die at my command, they quake in fear at the mention of my name, much less my presence and you dawdle?"

"Master-" I began but he cut me off almost immediately.

"Faster!" he bellowed.

I was shaking now, fully engrossed in the game, desperate to please him. I worked quickly to unfasten his robe. Once done I draped it over my arms.

"Your sandals and greaves, Master?"

"Everything. Did you not hear me?" Rory spun upon me in a moment and placing his hand around me neck pushed me back until I was pinned against the wall. I felt my cock harden at the contact. He squeezed my airway just slightly and my voice give an undignified squeak.

He'd remembered the erotic asphyxiation. Well done, Rory.

"The sluggishness of both your wits and your hands is greatly disturbing to me. I will give you one more chance." He pressed his face so near to me that our lips nearly touched. I had to stop myself from attempting a kiss. " Now, undress me."

He slowly loosened his fingers from my neck and I imagined the oval splotches I hoped his digits had made. Breathing heavily, I took to removing Rory's breastplate.

"Put them on the floor." Rory commanded and I sunk to my knees to set them gently down to make sure everything remained undamaged.

My hands worked nervously to unfasten his belt and sporran and to reach its closure I had to press my face close to his groin. In the limited contact I felt the firmness of his cock and wanted so badly to witness and worship his erection. My hands blindly groped and more than once came into contact with his muscular arse.

"What is it I'm sensing from you, Physician? I wonder. Is it lust? Are you lusting after me?"

He shoved his hands in my hair and grabbing a handful yanked my head back so as to look at my face.

"Did you think I didn't feel your busy hands?" he sneered.

"I'm sorry, Master." I said and finally managed to remove his belt. "May I remove your sandals?"

"If you think you can manage it." he answered dismissively.

I positioned myself on all fours , groveling, as I undid his buckle. When I felt him place his other sandaled foot on my back, pressing into my spine and lungs I moaned through tightly pressed lips. I drew pleasure from the discomfort and pain, elated Rory had been willing to commit.

He switched feet, his bare heel grinding into me.

Sandals gone, I suddenly felt his foot in my side and with a shove I wound up flat on my back . Breathless and so randy I could hardly think I gazed up at him but he simply removed his tunic in a swift motion and strode away.

"Get back to your knees, take off your clothing and extend your hands." he said over his shoulder.

I scrambled to my knees and quickly disrobed. Rory stood by one of the walls, covered with bondage equipment.

"Should I gag you? You don't talk much so I suppose there's not much of a need. You might look so handsome in a collar though. Would you like that, Physician? A collar around pretty your neck, perhaps a bit too tight? You would never be able to catch your breath, not fully. You might even pass out only to wake up with me inside you."

"I would like that very much, Master." I said hoping desperately he'd do just that.

Rory smirked and continued looking at the wall.

"Perhaps next time. You'll be in my service for many, many years, Physician. And I'm not nearly as interested in your pleasure as I am in my own. What you desire is inconsequential."

Rory grabbed an ancient looking leather strap from the wall and quickly returned to me. He was naked as was I, both our erections on prominent display. I wanted so badly to taste him, to touch him or at the very least touch myself, but I didn't dare.

"I told you to hold out your hands." he said placidly and with little passion he raised his hand and struck me in the face. It was an open handed slap by a heavy palm and I fell to the side reeling. It took me a moment to open my eyes and before I did I felt the first hint of blood trickle over my lips. Tears stung my vision and I felt such delicious, terrible shame that I nearly begged him to fuck me right then and there. But no, that would ruin the game, there was a structure to these things and we just building to the denouement.

I raised my hand to wipe the blood from my nose and mouth but only succeeded in smearing it. With a sniffle I extended my wrists and Rory quickly bound them together with the strip of leather. I tried not to notice the shaking of his hand.

Naked, vulnerable and bleeding I changed my posture a bit curving my back, wanting to hide from him and from the image of myself I could picture in my minds eye. But Rory wouldn't allow it. Again he yanked on my hair forcing me to straighten. My knees hurt, my body ached, but I did as he demanded.

Widening his stance he stood directly before me and I was face to face with that magnificence of his cock.

"Pleasure me, as though your life depended on it. It just may." he said with a small smile.

He wrapped his hand around his cock and guided it into my mouth before returning his grip to my hair. My hearts again quickened their beat as he finally allowed me to taste him. I worked my tongue over his tip and head before descending lower on his length. He couldn't stop his vocal responses and I realized it had taken great restraint for him to wait this long as well. He started moving his hips forward in time with my mouth, still using the handful of hair he gripped to guide me where he wanted.

Unable to use my hands to balance or support myself and victim to Rory, forcing me back and forth on his cock, he suddenly went too deep into my throat. It's been years since I could manage that and being bit out of practice I pulled away for a moment gagging and sputtering. Fresh tears filled my eyes, blurring my vision and through the film I saw my Centurion stalk away.

I lowered my head, regaining my bearings and thrilled at whatever new punishment might await me. When Rory returned, I kept my eyes downcast, I wanted to immediately return to servicing that beautiful cock but didn't dare until I was bid to do so.

"You were doing so well, Physician, and then you failed. Look at me."

I raised his head and my eyes widened when he saw the long, slender black instrument in Rory's hand.

"When my horses break their cadence, they feel my whip. Now I think so shall you." He smiled again, even darker this time and my mind drifted back to the psychic pollen incident. Perhaps it wouldn't have starved after all.. "Continue, I'll help you keep time."

I returned my lips to Rory's cock and moaned as I felt the luscious weight again in my mouth. I wanted to grab my own, just once, even to have my fingers just brush it would be bliss but it was completely out of the question.

Rory groaned his hips pumping gently forward. In yet another attempt to steady myself I paused for just a moment, wanting neither to gag or again or to tip over. Before I knew what was happening the swift sting of the riding crop struck my bare bottom.

I whimpered audibly though a good deal of the sound was muffled by Rory's cock.

While I tried to maintain the pace he wanted, nothing seemed to please him, the crop connected with my arse again and again and again. the stinging turning to outright pain. My skin felt raw by the end of it, I flinched every time I heard the crop cut through the air and I sobbed hoarsely around the circumference of his cock. All of this while droplets of precum flowed freely down the shaft of my own penis.

"Do you want me, Physician." he asked his voice husky and strained.

I kept silent so very wary of offending.

"I give you permission to answer.

Pulling away only briefly I sputtered out. "Yes, please, please fuck me, Master." I then immediately returned to his cock.

Rory gave me a light slap to make me stop sucking him. Dropping the crop he yanked me to my feet by my bound hands. In a few quick movements he had me spun around and pressed against the nearest wall facing away from him.

I heard him spit on his hand, I'd requested no lube. And when he parted my cheeks, I widened my stance and curled my toes in anticipation. He entered me in one strong thrust and I shouted his name completely forgetting to call him Master.

He held my arms still bound at the wrists above my head as he fucked me against the wall. To my surprise his other hand slipped down to grasp my cock. I didn't think I deserved the relief or attention but I didn't have the ability or energy to bat him away. He came into contact with my prostate again and again with full, thick, deep strokes and I found myself sobbing and whimpering openly. My arms tingled as they slowly went numb, the sweat from our bodies commingled and the saltiness stung the broken skin on my bottom as it rolled down. Rory was breathing heavily in my ear and that sound combined with his cock and the movement of his hand had me coming loudly. I watched my ejaculate spurt out and hit the wall before dripping downwards toward the floor. Rory continued on, not quite ready to follow my orgasm with his own.

I shuddered finally letting my face rest against the wall. Rory skillfully released the leather straps from my wrists and I felt blood and pain flow back into my digits. I dropped my hands and extended one clumsy palm backwards trying to yank him harder into me and keep him there.

Rory sank his teeth into my neck as he came and I felt a shadow of an orgasm not as strong as my first one course through my body. He slowed his movements and finally fully sheathing himself inside me pressed us both flush against the wall.

"I think...this will be a very fruitful relationship, don't you, Physician?" he said his lips pressed softly against my ear.

We didn't have a safe word because we hadn't thought we'd need one this time or that we'd go so far. We did however have an end phrase, words that signaled the conclusion of our experience and a return to the real world.

"For the glory of Rome." I whispered. My throat was nearly raw and it occurred to me just how loud I must have been during all of this.

His demeanor changed and he was no longer the Centurion disciplining his slave, he was sweet, kind, wonderful Rory who adored and loved me in a way I couldn't understand or live without.

"For the glory of Rome." he repeated slowly pulling out of me

He easily turned my body around his arms and began kissing me softly. He didn't seem to mind the blood.

"Are you alright, Doctor?"

"Fine, Rory, fine. That was... intense."

He embraced me and I rested my head against his shoulder.

"Good intense, I hope?"

"Very, very good intense.

Rory smiled and kissed my forehead before taking my hand.

"Come to bed, love." he said leading me towards the inviting mattress.

We settled down and pulling the sheets over both of us I lay securely in his arms.

"You know, you put on quite an amazing performance." I said with admiration.

"I never imagined you could be so submissive." Rory was quiet for a moment before speaking again. "I don't like hurting you. Or rather, I don't like that part of me...enjoyed hurting you."

I knew what he was saying, he wouldn't last long. They rarely did, so I tended to take these experiences when and where I could. They never understood why I needed what I needed. They never expected it to be as raw as it was. They never expected to get as swept up in it as they inevitably did. They never quite grasped that it wasn't just a kink, it was the only way I could be satisfied.

"Only as long as you like, Rory." I said simply trying my best not to manipulate him. Keeping my lips tightly closed when I wanted to respond with "If you love me, you'll hurt me."

It was alright, I went centuries in between these sessions, I could continue. I loved him for trying. I loved them all for trying.

"Thank you." I said simply.

There was a great and agonizing pause before he finally answered me.

"You're welcome."


	2. Confutatis Maledictis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The 11th Doctor makes a request of Jack but it may be more than the Captain can handle. This is dark Doctor. Seriously, dark, depressed Doctor. Post Angels Take Manhattan. BDSM, blindfolds, breath play, etc. etc.

 

 

_**"Give him enough rope and perhaps he'll hang us all."** _

"I thought you were done with all that." Jack said. He was sitting across from me sipping from a coffee mug as we spoke in hushed tones at a cafe in Cardiff.

We must have made quite a strange sight. He in his WWII greatcoat, me in my tweed and bowtie. Neither of us, I imagined, looked like we fit anywhere. Then again Jack always looked incongruous to me. He didn't match anything, he had no place. To me he would always scream anomaly. He was a walking fixed point in time, he was a matter of fact, he was friend and in some ways he would always sicken me.

"New face and all," he continued, "I thought there might be new..."

"No." I said quietly. "It never goes away, the face changes, the needs don't. I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important, Jack. I'm...going rather barmy. I can't concentrate. I can't sleep. I'm traveling alone now, you see."

I watched as Jack regarded me. He didn't ask. I'd never introduced him to Amy or Rory, I couldn't bear to see that challenging look in his eyes. The look that chastened me for my selfishness, my arrogance, my willingness to sacrifice people to get my way. He should know, I suppose. He was another person caught in my wake. Another person whose future I knew and had to keep secret.

"What is it you want?" he asked pointedly.

I shifted uncomfortably. I'd been waiting for him to mention why I had taken so long to come round to see him and then when I did I was asking for this. So far he hadn't.

"You know what I want, Jack. The TARDIS is parked where you can normally find it. If you want to help me, I'll be there for the next five hours, if not...I suppose I'll see you around."

"Doctor..." he said but I had already risen.

There was nothing to talk about. He understood perfectly well. He and my ninth had had one encounter. I'd shown up, out of the blue, landed the bloody TARDIS right in front of him as a matter of fact, flung open the doors and said; "Get in."

That had been a corker. Best thing about old Jack, back then he didn't need a reason. I dragged him inside, snapped a dog collar around his neck and we spent the next day slapping, punching and fucking the hell out of each other. And that was before he was this immortal thing he is now. Nine liked it rough, mutually rough and Jack seemed game for anything. I left him with a black eye and he left me with deep scratches that ran up and down my back along with a few dozen candle wax burns. We promised to meet up and do it again sometime but never got the chance.

Ten, blimey ten was more of a self flagellator that was how he got his kicks. Honey and blood I call him. So guilty, so crushingly guilty but so willing to choose his own punishment and then to get off on it as he did it. Oh the sanctimony of what I told Kahler-Jex, screamedat him. "Oh, I know exactly what you are, and I see this reformation for what it really is. You committed an atrocity and chose this as your punishment. Don't get me wrong: good choice. Civilized hours, lots of adulation, nice weather, but, BUT justice doesn't work like that! You don't get to decide when and how your debt is paid!"

It was a good speech and one I'd practiced in the mirror nearly every night. Call it a bedtime affirmation. That wasn't just about him, that was me. That was Ten, serving out my prison, when and where and how I saw fit, leaving whenever it suited me, like River. Ten thought his suffering too noble to do what Nine had done. He'd rather play at games with Rose, torture Martha so he could feel bad about it. He never would have imagined what I would do.

I doubted Jack would come. There'd probably be some sudden call from Torchwood, an apologetic message. I don't think he knew what to make of this incarnation yet and perhaps he didn't want to find out. Can't say as I blame him.

As the TARDIS refueled I kept myself busy. In case he did come I made ready the gaming room. Fresh linens for the bed, all the toys and instruments sterilized and sterilized again, everything neatly in its place. Then with nothing left to do I returned to the console room, sat down and waited.

Three minutes before I intended to leave there was a knock on the door.

I was on my feet like a shot and hopefully managed to wipe the eagerness from my face before I let him in.

Unlocking the latch I opened the door and stepped back to let him inside.

He entered, I shut the door and when I turned about he pulled me in for a kiss. It was good and smothering, Jack attacked you with his kisses and today that was just up my alley. Something clattered to the ground at our feet but I didn't pay it any mind.

"Our first kiss, with your new face at least." he offered me a broad grin.

"Yeah, lets have another." I said smashing my mouth into his. I felt him react with surprise before accepting my aggressive advance. Best to clarify things now. Best to let him know what I wanted.

"Wow...Doctor..." he said with surprise as I ripped my lips away from him before turning my attention to his neck.

I started to suck, hard, eager to mark him.

"It's going to be a little bit different this time, Jack. Is that ok?" I asked.

"Yeah, definitely, looking forward to it." he was already breathless and I could feel the excitement thrumming off of him. I watched him drop his coat to the TARDIS floor and I put my hands on his pecs relishing the musculature beneath.

"I really want this, Doctor. I'm sorry I was late."

"Don't give it another thought." I answered sinking my teeth into his shoulder. When he didn't yelp but instead groaned I bit a little harder.

"Jack..." I said hesitantly.

"What is it, darling?" his eyes were closed and I noted the flush that had risen to his lips and cheeks.

"Darling." I repeated with a small smile. "I don't think you're going to like me much when this is all over."

"What?" his eyes opened to stare at me quizzically.

"Nothing. Come with me." I said taking him by the hand.

"Yes, sir. Oh hey, wait." he stopped and knelt down to pick up a small case, it must have been what had fallen to the floor when we kissed. "Brought us a little something."

"Great, follow me."

I started off toward the TARDIS stairs and heard his footfalls behind me. We took a few twists and turns and after a moment Jack speaks.

"We're not going to you bedroom?" he asked unsurely.

I was surprised that he was familiar enough with my ship to know that wasn't where we were headed.

"No, not today."

I stopped outside the the door to the game room, took a deep breath and looked at him. Unlocking it I stepped inside and waited for him to follow.

I was both attracted and repelled to how his eyes widened as he drank in the wall covered with neatly arranged bondage and S&M equipment.

Jack started to speak but all that came out was an unintelligible little croak. i tilted my head and looked at him, wondering if he'd bolt. He tried again.

"You've...uh...been busy."

"What, you mean collecting these things? No, Jack this room has always been here, for ages and ages. This has always been a part of me at one time or another.

"I feel kind of silly now." he said with a forced chuckle.

"Why is that?" I placed a hand on his arm that I hoped was comforting.

He patted the case. "I considered myself daring for having brought some zero gravity handcuffs and a few feathers."

"I appreciate the effort. Shall we undress?" I asked, eager to begin.

"Let me." he said and as he set his hands to tenderly removed my jacket I froze. I didn't want tenderness. Kindness was an impediment to everything. His bloody caring could destroy this evening.

He pushed my braces off my shoulders and when he got to my shirt I instructed; "Rip it off."

He looked at me, his eyes roaming my face, trying to figure me out. I knew who he was searching for the cool, bravado of Nine. Smart, strong, secure. Or better yet the dizzying contradiction that was Ten. Sensitive. Explosive. Full of seemingly endless compassion and boundless rage. He was looking for something familiar but if he found it in my eyes he was lying to himself. I was neither of those men and I never would be again.

I decided to let him see what he needed to, if that was the only way to make him continue. I forced a twinkle, a truly mirthless crinkle of the skin around my eyes. It was so mechanical, feign cool, devilish, excited. Feign being alive.

It worked, he returned my smile and yanked at the collar of my shirt. Soon I was bare from the waist up and a moment later so was he. We started kissing again and it felt indescribable to have my chest pressed against him.

"I like this new body of yours, Doctor."

"It likes you as well." I grabbed his hand and placed it on the outside of my trousers pressing it down so he could feel my erection.

He kissed me again whispering; "Wow." against my lips.

"And that's only half hard. Do you want to help me get fully hard, Jack?"

"Oh yessss." he answered.

"Good, good, lad."

I pulled away from him breaking off the kiss long before he was ready and unfastening my trousers. I stepped out of them kicking them behind me to parts unknown. Gesturing towards him he got the hint and did the same. Our bodies came together again and he wrapped a strong hand around my cock and began pumping it gently in his fist. I exhaled, closed my eyes and returned the favor biding my time before I spoke.

"Now, what I think might be easiest for both of us is if you blindfold me."

Jack chuckled, I think he thought I was joking.

"That way," I continued, "You don't have to worry about me looking at you and I get to anticipate what's coming with no prior warning. Now the wall of instruments wok in descending order. Those to the far left are the most advanced, I don't expect you to know or even understand how to use those. The ones in the middle are medium level and the ones closest to us on the right are for beginners. I'm perfectly happy if you stick to there."

All throughout my speech he had been staring at me, his eyes growing darker and darker.

"You're serious. I mean, I thought maybe you just had a wicked sense of humor. You know, trying to take the piss out of old Captain Jack, but you're serious."

"As a double heart attack. I want you to hurt me, Jack. I trust you to do it safely, I trust you to listen to me and I trust you respect my safe words; Winter Quay."

He was retreating from me, both in mind and body. His hand had already dropped from my cock which was sinking into flaccidity by the moment.

"Doctor, I don't know about this. Last time, we were equals. It got a little rough but, I don't think you're talking about rough sex here. This is serious domination you're requesting."

"I realize that, and I know it's a lot to ask. I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't need it. I can't do this myself, Jack. I'm all alone now. I lost..." I hesitated not wanting to open that door but thinking of no other way to convince him. "I lost my family. Proper family."

He opened his mouth to say something but I stopped him with a hand. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't even bear to hear him ask me about it.

"No, not now. Maybe not ever. I suffer with this everyday. This and a million upon million others that I let slip through my fingers. This is the only way I can have some peace, Jack. Please. Please."

I was really pleading, real emotions bleeding through drowning out the pantomime. I did love him. I didn't want to hurt him like this. Not another one. Nowadays this is the best thing to play with me, not traveling, not running, not fighting. This. This is the safest game going.

"You know you might enjoy it. It's like that for people sometimes. They don't know they like inflicting a little pain for their pleasure until they try it. You might enjoy watching me squirm. "I tried to darkly flirt with him but even to my own ears it sounded less than convincing. I was already weary from the effort.

Jack observed me for what seemed like hours, until his face finally changed.

"Get over there." he said gesturing to towards the bed. I was a bit disappointed as he seemed to be leaning towards the pedestrian but I was willing to at least give him a chance before I sent him packing.

I made my way to the bed and watched as he went back to his case.

"We'll use the anti grav cuffs. They make the experience more intense. If I set the wrist cuffs at -6 and the ankles at -4 you'll have to fight harder to keep your body horizontally level."

Now, this sounded promising.

"You've done this before." I ventured but only got a shrug in return.

A few minutes later I found myself cuffed. Wrists magnetized together with arms stretched above my head, ankles feeling fused together in a similar way.

Jack retrieved a blindfold from the wall while I stood there in that ridiculous position, arms raised, ankles locked, like a diver just about the break the skin of the water.

He returned and though he muttered to himself that he should have put it on me before the cuffs he managed to get it down over my eyes. The darkness was disorienting, my arms started to ache from being extended so. My erection was coming back.

I heard Jack open his mouth to say something but then he thought better and remained silent.

The soft whine of equipment turning on filled the room and a second later I was off my feet, being stretched out gracefully, recumbent. He put the cuffs at the settings he'd mentioned and I felt a wonderful flood of endorphins as I strained to keep my body perfectly level, fighting the cuffs all the way. He pushed my near helpless form, I can only assume, so that I was above the bed rather than the floor and then I waited. I tried to listen, straing to hear his bare feet hitting the floor, trying to picture in my mind how many steps to this and how many steps to that. What would he reach for first?

Suddenly his hands were back on me, under my arse, raising me higher in the air while simultaneously bringing me closer to him. I hadn't expected to feel his mouth so warm and wet fully eclipse my cock and gasped, rather dramatically, out loud. Not exactly what I had in mind but not bad. He certainly knew his stuff and I sprang to attention in his mouth. But what happened next restored my faith in the progress of the evening. The tendrils of the cat-o-nine tails hits my nipples and my abdomen and every part of me stiffened. I felt Jack stop the movement of his mouth, I assumed to watch as he wielded the toy. As much as the cuffs would allow I arched my body upwards groaning without hesitation. He started to lightly whip me in quick successive motions and I felt happy welts rise up on my skin. I could picture my flesh coloring with claw marks and my mind drifted momentarily to how I could admire myself in the mirror after he left. The little, light whips trailed down my body, past my stomach, never removing his mouth from me he used the small yet effective toy over my thighs and calves before reversing and coming back up again. My body started to tremble and shake in the cuff, the mid air suspension and the cat were taking its toll on me not to mention the truly superb blowjob Jack was administering. He turned me over suddenly, it was intentionally jarring and he still hadn't said a word yet. If the blindfold was off I would have been staring down at the TARDIS blue sheets of the mattress, instead I saw only inky blackness. The whip cut through the air again, this time landing on my shoulders and back. He concentrated there for awhile and I squirmed out my encouragement to him as best I could despite my bonds. He's left my penis, erect and jutting downward, completely coated in his saliva it twitches and jumps in the cool air of the room. I feel Jack's free hand caress my chest, abdomen and thighs all the while continuing to whip me, and purposefully avoiding my cock, leaving it in its neglected state.

When he reached my arse he came down especially hard with the cat, quickening his pace lashing me again and again and again. It was going to be hell to sit down tomorrow, just like I wanted. I loved these cuffs, there was no way to get this sort of full body attention in say a pillory or suspension frame but the zero grav allowed for every inch of me to receive the same attention at the same time. Must get a pair for myself. By the time he finished my backside and paid passing attention to my ribs, tears had already dampened my blindfold. I had my lips parted as I struggled to breathe each inhale required me to make the decision between following it with moaning, crying or exhaling.

I couldn't decide if Jack knew what he was doing or if he was just lucky. He hadn't broken the skin anywhere, yet I still felt delightfully swollen. The metallic whine again filled the room and a moment later I was dropped unceremoniously on the bed. The cuffs were quickly removed from my ankles and wrists and I began wiggling my fingers to try and regain feeling. My limbs felt like lead and the prospect of almost any movement seemed as though it would prove overwhelmingly dextrous.

"Jack..." I began, my voice was craggy and my mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry.

"Shut up." he replied, his voice was harsh and I heard the seeds of disgust there. Fine, so long as he didn't stop.

"I'd like the Eros gloves now, please?"

He paused for what felt like an eternity. When he did speak his voice was flat.

"You said you wanted me in control."

"I'm sorry." I responded quickly not wanting to offend him.

"No you're not." he answered quickly. "Where do you want them?" For the first time I heard the confliction in his voice as he placed his knees on the bed. There was the predictable guilt for participating in this for me but also the the guilt for starting to enjoy it. He didn't want to enjoy this but he was and it was killing him. The guilt I felt was cyclical and it only made me want to request that he do more.

"On my cock."

"They're not made for that. They shut off if they come into contact with genitalia, you know that."

"Not if they've been soniced. Works on everything save wood."

"Doctor, we shouldn't...gods I don't even know if I trust you not to have screwed with the safety settings."

He was smart. I had in fact tampered with the settings to allow a stronger current than the gloves were designed for. Eros gloves, lovely little invention, slip them on and your entire hand can deliver delicious current of electricity in controlled bursts and waves.

"Damn it Jack am I going to have to fight you on everything tonight? Because if that's the case undo me and you can piss off back to Cardiff."

I didn't mean to sound so harsh.

No. That's a lie. Yes I did.

"Get the lube first." I said trying to adopt a more conciliatory tone.

"The lube is a conductor."

"You're grounded so don't worry."

"I'm not worried about me."

Despite his protestations I listened as Jack slipped on first one black glove and then another.

I felt him lay beside me, close, his body pressed into mine. The soft crackle of electricity filled my ears and then I felt him trail a gloved finger over my lips. The zing of the current was immediate, it made my teeth ache and I knew my lips would swell shortly at the assault. When he removed his finger Jack replaced it with his own lips. A soft, sweet kiss that a part of me wanted to respond to. When I kissed him back, even for just that brief moment their faces flooded back to me, Amy and Rory, lost to me. Another sacrifice on the altar of the last man from Gallifrey.

Jack caressed my nipples, first one then the other and they immediately hardened under the hum of the gloves. I cried out in pain as much as pleasure and Jack nuzzled my neck.

"Can I take off the blindfold now?" he asked me and after a pause I nodded.

I immediately regretted it, he was looking at me with such a mixture of pity, lust and affection that I wanted to scream. I stiffened, it was always easier to stay blind. He kissed my stung lips again but this time I couldn't respond, instead flashes of Martha and Donna danced grotesquely in my minds.

Keep adding them to the tally, Doctor, there's always room for more, right?

"Could you...?" I began.

"Anything." Jack whispered.

"Could you please stop doing that?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw his face harden a bit. I couldn't look at him full on. He didn't speak and instead started to drag his hand, fingers spread wide down my body carving trails and leaving swathes of jolted skin in his wake. It hurt, especially as he traversed the paths made by the cat but it was perfection. I raised myself above the situation, above him, above memory and fact and loss and longing and I started that great trudge up the hill. The trudge that allowed me the only fleeting satisfaction I could grasp onto nowadays.

I was so hard that when his gloved and now lubed hand touched my cock I shouted something positively ancient and filthy. My stomach muscles tightened and I jerked up to a near sitting position.

"Don't stop." I begged him and he continued, looking none too pleased with the idea. He had moved away from my upper body and now so near my lower half he used one hand to cup my balls and the other to stroke my shaft. The gloves crackled, I crackled as I opened my legs wider to give him all the access he might need. I tried to push away the other stray thoughts, the greedy, angry, needful thoughts, like, I wish he had the common sense to shove just one finger inside me and help me along even more. Or if only he'd dampened them a bit the current would be even stronger.

Or better yet I wish he'd at least stop looking at my face, he'll never find what he needs there.

It didn't matter anyways, it was working. I came, red faced, teeth gritted, tears pouring down my cheeks, my ejaculate spilling over the backness of the gloves.

"I'm pretty sure you voided the warranty with that little trick." Jack said dryly. "It probably would have killed anyone else. Anyone but you or me I suppose."

I tried not to listen to him. I lay back on the bed, chest heaving, pain receptors firing like pistons, hearts thundering in my chest.

"Are you alright?" Jack asked and I bristled.

"Yes, yes I'm alright. I can't have you asking me that Jack. It won't do. Just leave it."

Guilt again as I watched his body close off even more to me. The gloves switched off he took them off his hands and dropped them on the floor.

Propping up on my elbows I extended a hand to him.

"Come to me, Jack."

He gazed back at me doubtfully.

"Sorry, Doctor...I don't know that I can rise to the occasion just now."

I glanced down and looked at his flaccid penis. I had managed to turn him completely off.

"Let me see if I can fix that."

In a swift moment I pushed myself up to a sitting position and seconds later I had my mouth on his cock.

I was lulling him into another place, a place with his Doctor. He had a kink for the ninth me but I think he was more than a bit in love with Ten. I tried to remember the way that face moved, how it looked, how he could make his eyes so soft, so compassionate, how he could quirk his mouth in just a shadow hint of a smile and brighten their little worlds. They blithely followed him... followed me to their deaths because of that smile.

It worked, he hardened in my mouth, his hips working gently, his breath catching in his throat before escaping in delicious little bursts. I concentrated on him for a few minutes, coaxing him until he was stiff and eager in my mouth.

I pulled away no doubt sooner than he would like and lay back onto the bed beckoning to him. I opened my legs wider for him, softening my body and my face, and when he quickly bridged over me I allowed him to kiss me. I smiled and he smiled back. He entered me and for a shadow of a moment I allowed myself to feel as though we were making love.

But I didn't deserve that.

Slowly as he moved within me I reached for his right hand. Parting my lips I took one of his fingers in my mouth, sucking enthusiastically and giving him my best imitation of bedroom eyes. He quirked an amused smile and kept pumping long, languid strokes within me. I continued my attention to his fingers until he wasn't giving thought to much else except the pleasure we were affording each other.

Then, I slowly brought his hand up to my throat.

He didn't understand at first, at least not until I started encouraging him to squeeze.

The look Jack gave me was one of complete horror. I felt him start to pull away from me but I held him fast, grinding myself up against him, squeezing him internally in an effort to make his baser nature take over. He stayed though his movements became harder and harsher. Again I encouraged him to squeeze my throat and bearing his teeth he started oblige. Every stroke pressed my straining erection against his abdomen and I started to moan beneath him even as all the air seemed to seep from my lungs. He was groaning and grunting above me and our animal noises filled the room.

It was brilliant. So perfect. So very, very, perfect and I felt my orgasm start to overtake me just as the edges of my vision started to blur and darken. I moaned, loud and long, swearing and interjecting his name where I saw fit. His fingers tightened and the world went black for a moment and I thought I might have passed out. But one blink and then another, a gaspy intake of breath and I was back just in time to feel him come hard within me.

I lay there beneath him, struggling for breath coughing every now and then not quite able to speak just yet. I was aware of his eyes on me but I avoided meeting them. In a moment he had detached from me and was off the bed.

He was dressing, hastily, pants, shirt, shoes. I sat up to watch him. He picked up the case he had brought and started to collect the cuffs, then seemed to change his mind and let it all drop to the floor.

I opened my mouth to say his name but instead got dragged into a coughing fit so intense it made me see stars.

Jack stood by the door, his face hard, his eyes vacant and angry all at once.

"This new regeneration..." he began and then stopped himself. "You were right about something, Doctor. I don't like you very much right now. In fact, you can go fuck yourself. I'm never doing this again," he said simply and with that he strode out of the room. "Call me when you switch over to twelve."

I heard his footsteps grow softer as he made his way through the TARDIS and out the front door.

Perhaps he was right, best wait until Twelve, let that man apologize to him for me. Should Twelve come along that is. I could simply...not. Koschei had decided not to. He had just let the moment pass, bottled up all that regeneration energy and simply let himself die.

I dressed quickly and returned to the console room. Going over to the door I opened it and peeked out. Cardiff went on as it always did and there was no sign of Jack. So be it. I closed and latched the door and after pulling the levers I let the TARDIS take me where she would.

Would it be so bad to let go, to fall, completely at the fields of Trenzalore?

Perhap I had already made up my mind. Perhaps I was content to go. Perhaps I was saying a different sort of goodbye.

Sometimes I really do think a Time Lord lives too long.


	3. Dominus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor find help and solace from an unlikely source in an unlikely place.

 

 

_**"The man to choose the hour of his own death is the closest he will ever come to tricking fate."** _

"Tempus Dominus." he hisses it in my ear and I know I am dreaming. "I hate it when you call me that." he continues before I've even said a word.

"I haven't said anything."

"You were going to call me Koschei. It's what you always call me when you're feeling sentimental."

"I assure you I'm far from feeling sentimental." I said slowly. I always spoke slower in my dreams. And then my brain committed a clever betrayal and we found ourselves laying in deep, thick red grass, fragrant and lush the way things always are in memory.

"Oh God." he sighed. "Really, here? You bring us here?"

Despite his annoyed protests he lay back in the grass with me, close to my side.

"Theta..." he sighed. "So you're dying then?"

"Thinking about it." I replied taking a handful of grass and letting the wind carry the blades away.

He burst into laughter then, uproarious laughter, the kind that so often got him in trouble at the Academy.

"And you came to me for help? What to aid you or talk you out of it?"

"Don't know really." I said meeting his eyes for the first time.

His smile faded away and he started to scowl at me.

"Don't be stupid." was all he said.

"Remember the hours we spent here. I always liked your father's estate better than my own. It was so much warmer and friendlier."

"You didn't have to live here, now did you?" he said uprooting a handful of grass himself.

"It always felt safe."

"That's because you were running." he said simply.

"We both were." I paused for a good long while. "I never felt guilty for killing Torvic." I confessed.

"Why should you? He brutalized us, he was lucky."

"I feel guilty for what it did to you."

"You stink of guilt, _."

I closed my eyes, pressing my lips together tightly.

"You used my name."

"It's your dream." he said with a shrug. "Why don't you ever remember anything...happy?"

The scenery changed again and now we found ourselves outside of the Academy, squeezed into that corner that became our corner. Hidden, slightly in the shadows, away frorm lessons and the excited voices of other boys we were safe. Like so many times before he had me pressed against the wall.

"Still won't let me take the lead, eh?" I asked.

"You were always too slow. I wanted it quick and dirty. Slow was for being at home, in bed after classes. Or renting a room in the Capitol. Quick and dirty doesn't get caught."

He kissed me then hard and lustily, his body pinning mine against the cold stone wall. I couldn't move and I didn't want to.

"It never occurred to you that I thought almost getting caught was half the fun?" I grinned at him and he looked back at me both surprised and pleased.

"Remember how you'd beg for it? Remember how you named me Master?"

"I remember." I said. Even in the dream I felt our hearts quicken. My hand started to grab at his back, yanking him even closer to me. "And what if I want it now, Master?"

He pulled away from me studying my face, trying to find my angle, the secret trick I was playing on him. But there was none, so he found none.

Instead he sunk his teeth into my neck, hard enough to hurt, hard enough to draw blood.

I moaned low and guttural and it echoed off the high stone columns.

"Shhhh!" he said but he was laughing at the same time, softly against my ear. "They'll hear us."

"I don't care!" I responded nipping at his bottom lip and in response I felt him grind his pelvis against mine.

Suddenly the voice of a long forgotten Chancellor calling our names rang out across the grounds.

"_, _ you will cease this instant!"

"Now see what you've done?" he said looking at me gleefully.

"Run!" I said taking his hand and we sprinted across fields of distant memory, laughing like children and as everyone is wont to do in a dream we arrived at our destination not knowing how we'd gotten there.

"Are we in your bedroom?" he asked me glancing around. "I haven't been here in ages."

"It looks the same." I said. "But then it would wouldn't it?"

He closed his eyes and whether he was remembering or creating I couldn't tell.

"It's late in the evening. Everyone has gone to the city. We're expected but we stayed behind." he says after a moment.

He suddenly rushes at me and engages me in another kiss.

It was perfect, a perfect kiss, a kiss I'd been trying to recreate for eons.

"Were you my first love?" I asked him when I could finally take a breath.. "Had I really forgotten that?"

He looked down at me, yes down, we were suddenly in bed, our clothing gone. He was above me, his chest heaving, his brow furrowed as he observed me.

"Who else?" he replied easily but the answer seemed to disturb him.

"Was I yours?"

He closed his eyes for a second but didn't answer me. Instead he returned to my lips, kissing me passionately, desperately.

"This was before everything went wrong, with both of us." I murmured as his lips found my neck and then drifted down to my collar bone.

"Speak for yourself. I can still hear the drums."

"It's a dream, you shouldn't." I said upset at the notion. Placing my hands on either side of his skull I stilled him for a moment. The sound came through loud and clear and in a way I couldn't have managed in the real world I first slowed, then stopped them.

"There, all better?"

He was frozen above me, his mouth slightly open his eyes bloodshot, wide and sharp. Suddenly they began to fill with tears before quickly spilling over. He collapsed in a heap on my chest and sobbed in a way that made me think he might shatter.

"Koschei?" I asked tentatively running my hands through his ridiculous bleached hair.

He wouldn't answer me, instead I felt tears run across my stomach and down onto the mattress. I held him there like that, stroking his hair as he quieted.

When he resumed his path down my body there was a marked difference in his demeanor. He moved slower and sweeter. It started to make me grow uncomfortable.

"Koschei, would you do something for me?"

"Anything." he said softly. I was almost taken aback by his docility but figured at least my oldest friend would be willing to help me.

"Will you... hurt me?"

He stopped what he was doing, removing his lips from my body and pushing up to look at me.

"What?"

I swallowed expecting he of all people to understand.

"I've lost so many of them you see. I can't handle it anymore. It's all just too heavy. I can't enjoy myself, It hurts to enjoy myself. It hurts to live. The only peace I get is when someone finally treats me like I deserve to be treated. Please, will you hurt me?"

He was on me like a shot, pinning my down by the shoulders, nose to nose.

Koschei regarded me through slitted eyes, I saw his jaw working back and forth and he suddenly seemed of full of rage. Perhaps this would be exactly what I needed.

"No! I won't. Listen to me, _, you fool. People die, everyday. Every single day, that's what happens. And you can try to hold onto them, you can scratch and claw and tear at them and they will still slip from your grip. Either accidental or purposeful or old age, the grave will find them. It stalks them, especially humans. It stalks us all. You did everything you could, everything. I know that because you are the best of us. That's why you fled. That's why you survived. And that's why I spent a dozen lifetimes chasing you."

He practically spat the words in my face which is why the incongruity of his kiss took me off guard. His lips were soft and yielding. His hand caressing my face was the first touch that hadn't hurt in ages.

"I don't have to give you what you want to give you what you need." he said and I put my hand lightly to the back of his neck as we kissed. His tongue felt as familiar in my mouth as my own. How many mornings, afternoons, nights had we spent locked like this. No, not quite like this. Suddenly the old rivalry was gone, the jousting, the sparring, the jockeying for position, the hard panting breaths, the frantic orgasms followed by loving but guarded teasing and boasting. This was different, this was the man that had known my body in all it's incarnations, every hair, every fingerprint, every rib. It was like being found again and I realized no one had touched me quite like this for centuries.

He eased down my body and when he took me in his mouth I called his name, his real name, over and over and over again. He brought me just to the edge and then stopped, just as he used to.

He returned to my arms kissing me and in between kisses he watched me intently as he worked his erection against my own.

He entered me without preamble but it wasn't harsh and it didn't hurt.

"Master." I whispered.

"_." he corrected.

He started thrusting inside of me long, deep satisfying strokes and when I tried to close my eyes he demanded that I open them.

"Please, say my name." I begged.

He smiled at me, a smile so unusual on his face because it lacked any malice.

"_" he obliged.

"Again. Just say it and don't stop. Don't stop saying it."

"_. _. _."

I put a hand on his arse trying to drive him deeper inside of me and as he whispered my name in his ear, my real and proper name I felt that delicious heat start to grow and burn in my stomach.

He quickened his movements, still maintaining the most intense eye contact with me.

We came together, we always did, we knew each others bodies well enough to time it that way.

We shuddered together in one anothers arms, coasting those last remaining waves and crests to the shores of hazy bliss.

He took me in his arms and laying across his chest I recalled how long it had been since I heard the sweet tympany of two heartbeats in my ear.

It was enough, it was more than enough.

"I want to stay here." I said softly.

He chuckled.

"Isn't being stuck in your head part of your problem?"

I didn't say anything and held him tighter.

"You know I'm an echo." he asked after a moment. "Just a part of me you keep alive in your mind for reasons unknown."

"You're not. You may be echoing back, all the way from the Time Lock but you are not an echo."

He sighed, realizing I knew, he seemed to see no reason to continue the subterfuge.

"Fine, I'm real-ish, does that make you feel better?"

I paused before answering.

"Yes...-ish."

He laughed then and after a moment I joined him.

"Better now?" he asked.

"Maybe."

"Well, go on you goody-goody, haven't you got worlds and people to save." there was disgust in his voice but I didn't quite believe it anymore.

"How can I get back here? Should I need to, how can I find you."

He gazed down at me fondly and actually squeezed me in a makeshift hug for a moment.

"Oh, you know me, I'm always around." he said quirking a smile. "You have to go back now."

With that he leaned over me and suddenly in that logic that only dreams have I knew when he kissed me I'd awaken.

His body was over mine now, his lips hovering just a hairs breadth away from my own.

I willed myself not to cry and he smiled appreciating the effort.

"To answer your question, No, _, you weren't my first. You were my only."

And then we kissed.

I woke up to the familiar hum of the TARDIS. She was waiting for me, she had been waiting for weeks for me to make a move. Eventually she had taken to setting destinations herself but once we'd landed I never even opened the door.

I dressed quietly in the dark of my room.

When I entered the console room the humming grew louder, she was practically singing to me.

"Yes, dear, I'm sorry. I've been away for awhile. I'm...not exactly...better but for the first time in a long while I feel as though I could be, someday soon. Thank you for your patience." I said stroking the console.

There was no one but her to hear my voice breaking. No one but her to see the tears come.

There was no one but her.

I closed my eyes and allowed my hand to grasp the lever.

"What say, old girl, let's be brave, let's go pick up some strays."

I swallowed and pulled.

"Let's go on an adventure."


End file.
